Where Have I Been?

 It's been a minute, or two or three. Life happens, things get in the way or you just lose interest. 

July was hard. I lost my aunt to brain cancer. Mom and I were able to visit her for a week. We flew to BC and I was able to get out and explore for a few days but I did spend most of my time at the hospital where my aunt was in hospice. It hurt but also made me happy that my mom was able to see her little sister again. It has been years since they saw each other in person. Life gets in the way, and living across the country makes it harder. We always say we are going to, one day. Thankfully we were able to see her and they reminisced, Mom fussed over her and I know it broke her heart but I also know she was happy to be there, for support and reassurance. Two weeks after we returned home my aunt passed. She had an MAID order in effect and made the decision to exercise it. Her pain was gone, the fear gone. 

I think I stumbled through July, my aunt's passing affecting me in ways I wasn't anticipating. I wasn't close to her, not having seen her in years but just that life is so short. I have made it to the other side with cancer twice, I am one of the lucky ones.....but it makes you think. I had a lot of downtime, all I wanted to do was curl up and read. I didn't get out for walks or pull out my camera. I am not sure what I did other than exist. I wasn't depressed or anything, but I think I just needed to shut down and I did. 

August is almost finished, this month has flown by. I still haven't been out with my camera much or gone to my favourite places. Weather (hot and humid) was the biggest reason, the other is I was content to enjoy being at home, playing with the dog, reading on the deck and just enjoying being home. I came to the conclusion that I was happy, or at least my version of happy. Maybe content and settled are better words. My parents are healthy, my brother and his family are doing well, and my son is absolutely loving his new job which is a career with growth potential. My small world is good.

Back to school is around the corner, with one week left of summer vacation. I will have my 35th first day of school. Wow, where has the time gone?! I am hoping this upcoming year will have fewer obstacles and be more settled. Planning for a good year to come!

A few photos that I took while in BC. The scenery was stunning, so different from the flatness of where I live. 

With that, I will post again at some point. Take care of you, and hold dear those that are important in your life. ♥

Old Habits

 Well, here I am, gone for a month again. At least I can say I have thought about posting, just never got around to it. I can say life has been busy, I've had no time but all of those would be only partially true. I just haven't felt like spending a lot of time on my computer, which is a good thing. I also don't really have much to say. 

I live a quiet life, just me, my son, and of course the chocolate wonder. I go to work and I come home. I'm not a big social person, but I do enjoy going places and doing things but I am not good at meeting people. As a result, I am solo most of the time. I have friends but they are busy with their families or doing things with a group that they have had for a long time. Sometimes I get lonely and at others, I am quite content to do my own thing. Socializing, friendships, and navigating all that are hard. 

I have still not had chips; Fritos, Pringles, or Doritos since New Years Eve--yay me!! Pop consumption is only when I go out for dinner, which isn't often and has been replaced with sparkling water. As a result, I am down a couple of sizes and feel so much better in my clothes. The numbers don't seem a lot but I am noticing it physically. I am purchasing clothing that fits as opposed to baggy to hide everything. Now I just need to stop shopping!!  Going through my closet again to purge the things that I have not worn and no longer fit. Interestingly a pair of pants that were too small and somehow didn't make it into the giveaway pile now fit again. It's like I have a new pair.

I haven't gotten out with my camera much. Work is so busy that when I get home I just want to play with the dog and then relax for the evening. I did manage a day of being out and about with a fellow photographer and thoroughly enjoyed the day and am pretty pleased with my photos. Earlier this week our photo club took a little field trip and I got a few photos there as well.  The sky wasn't very helpful with regard to getting good lighting. 

Here are a few I took the end of May. 

I want to work on a watermark that I like but kind of want to play in AI with it. Granted I need to do more that just open it and get confused, lol.  Goal is still to learn this summer. 

It's been a while

 I can honestly say I completely forgot about this blog for a bit. Nothing new as this is more a spot for my thoughts, ramblings, and uninteresting life. What has happened in the last five weeks? Not much actually, a few things but nothing major. 

My appointment with the surgeon resulted in an unexpected biopsy due to skin changes, results were negative (I wasn't worried and he was just being cautious) and it is just due to radiation. I have lost twelve pounds and am feeling pretty good about that. My clothes fit better and I am down a size, maybe two depending on brand and style. 

I am feeling better physically and emotionally with all of this, it is a good place to be in. I have had some blips and am back to forcing myself to leave the house. I need to grab my camera and just go but the weather has not been cooperative or conducive to traipsing around with my camera gear. Looking ahead warmer and nicer weather is in the forecast. While I am not looking forward to the hot humid weather or summer I am excited about open windows and sunshine. 

Took some pictures in the backyard and have had fun improving my editing techniques and cropping. I broke down and bought Sharpening AI, pretty impressed with it actually but of course some photos are just beyond and dumped. Went to a coworker's wedding and was asked to bring my camera at the last minute. I stepped in as the hired photographer was late and got photos of the venue, the bride arriving, the attendants, the ceremony, and the first dance. I must say I was pretty impressed with how my photos turned out as was she. She said the one's the photographer took outside weren't great and at least she has some good ones from the day because of mine. Funny enough she asked me to photograph her wedding and I wasn't confident in my abilities and of course nervous about doing it. As it was I did some of it anyway, lol. I am still content with my birds, flowers, and the chocolate wonder.

A few of my recent photos from the backyard.  While I think of it I should create a watermark for my photos, just for fun.

I am hoping (wanting) to delve into the world of tutorials on how to use Adobe Illustrator. . . .wish me luck!

Change

 

I feel the need for a change. Not quite sure what that looks like or how I am going to achieve it but it's there. 

I have made some changes in my diet and lost some weight. While I am thrilled it of course isn't coming off as fast as I would like. Trying to be positive and looking at how my clothing fits and the fact I appear to be down a size is a win that I am holding on to. Slowly but surely is how I need to look at it and the fact I have seen success, trying not to sabotage myself.

Back to the change.....squirrel here. I think I may start with my bedroom and change it up. Rearrange the furniture, maybe add some things to the wall, and choose a different colour. Not quite sure, but then that in itself is a problem, I can't make a decision to save my life! Anyway, I digress. I need to do a big organize and purge, maybe that will get me back on track.

Working on being more positive as I return to work on Monday. Things are better but I still miss how it was. I need to get over that and just move on. So while I say I need change, I also don't like change, lol. Change is good when I decide to make it, not when others make it for me I guess. 

Sitting here isn't getting anything done, so off I go to put away laundry that has been sitting in the basket for a week, hang up clothes that I decided not to wear but are sitting on the chair, and work on reconfiguring my bedroom. 

It's Been a Minute

 Life got away from me, I had intentions of blogging and even thoughts on what I would post, but it didn't happen. Can't say that anything exciting has happened, just the usual humdrum of life. 

We did have quite the weather the other week, rain, freezing rain, fallen trees, and power outages. It was quite the day.  Another day of canceled buses, I think we have set a record this year for that, it's been a long time since we have had this many. We were lucky as our power was only out overnight, granted getting ready in the dark was interesting. . . .messy bun at work here we come! Some people were not able to come in as their sump pumps failed and they were sadly bailing out their basements. As I sat watching out my window I was wishing that I brought my camera to work as the trees looked so pretty covered in ice. This weather was a reminder that Mother Nature is dangerously beautiful. Once home I took a walk around the neighbourhood (in the freezing rain) and took a few pictures. 

While it looked pretty the aftermath was not, all night I heard the branches breaking from the weight of the ice. Thankfully the branches that fell just hit the fence and the big one hanging over my house remained intact.  Clean-up took a while as we even had a day of just rain to make the mess even worse. We made it and no serious injuries, people stayed home and rode it out.

Fast forward to spring break. I needed it, badly. I just needed that reset, no worries, do what I want. I didn't make any grand plans of things to do around the house as I knew I wouldn't do them. Putting that pressure on myself would just have been self-sabotage. Instead, I did nothing and I am ok with that. I recharged by napping, spending a whole day reading, and doing whatever house things needed doing when I felt like it. Turning off that alarm felt great, no schedule or timeline-amazing. I will be honest, there were a few days when I wanted to get out with my camera but it was cold and I wasn't in the mood to wander around in the cold.  I did, however, hook up the chocolate wonder, packed up the camera and we took off to get lost in our favourite nature trail. Lots of my favourite red birds were out and we saw some young deer. Met a friendly couple with a GSP and we walked and chatted as both dogs walked nicely with each other. It was a wonderful afternoon and I got some great photos. 

Glad we went yesterday as although the temperature is mild, it is grey and rainy today. I am tempted to pack my camera and get some raindrop shots but I'm not sure I want to get wet. Currently going to the Mall is winning out over being creative. 

As I Wander Along

Tuesday Harlow and I headed out to the Greenway for some run time for her, and hopefully some picture-taking opportunities for me. The sky was grey, the air crisp but it was perfect wandering weather. We entered a spot that isn't usually busy so I could let Harlow just sniff and run, much to her delight and we were off. It felt good to just walk, be with my thoughts but not really thinking about anything, looking up in the trees, and across fields to see what I wanted to capture. Didn't really see many birds but I heard them twittering in the trees. I came across this birdhouse and liked how the light hit it amongst the growth. 

On our way back to the car we spotted this furry little friend who puffed himself up a bit as he saw us. Thankfully I spotted him before Harlow did so I got her back on her leash before we had an incident of her deciding to take off and chase. Thankfully I did as when she did notice him I about lost my arm as she pulled. 

Such a lovely couple of hours just being outside with nowhere to be and no time limit. Definitely good for the soul.

We braced ourselves for a big winter storm Wednesday. It started snowing in the morning, buses were canceled, exams moved back and warnings of travel difficulties as the day wore on. I decided to walk to work (only 5 minutes) as it would take me longer to clean off and warm up the car at the beginning and end of the day. It snowed on and off all day, heavier in the afternoon at what would have been our dismissal. The temperature was comfortable and it was gorgeous to look at with big, fluffy heavy snowflakes coming down. Once home from work, I walked in the front door and right back out the back with a very happy dog. Harlow loves snow and we were outside for well over an hour as she dove in the snow for her ball, buried her nose in it, and ate a little. We came up front so I could shovel the sidewalk and front step as she happily tossed her ball in the air (losing it in the snow thus a 15-minute search for it by her). After my feet got cold and my gloves soaked through I decided it was time for us to come in. We watched the snow continue to fall but much slower as the evening turned dark. Sleep was cozy and deep.

 Good news in the health department for me as both my CT scan and bone scan came back clear. No evidence of cancer anywhere, I am getting closer to that magical 5-year mark. Another scan and visit in 6 months. It's so nice to finally hit that 6-month visit after being every 3 months for the last couple of years.

Self Care

 I posted yesterday about how down I was feeling and that I knew I needed to go get lost with my camera. I am pleased to say I did just that. Dressed in layers, put on my wellies, packed my camera, and off I went. It felt good to be out in the crisp air with no particular place to be and all I had was time. 

Deep breaths as I looked up in the trees and down at the ground to see what I might find. I watched geese land in the pond and a pair of swans glide effortlessly through the water as they found food. As I got nearer the lake the wind picked up and the air cooler, it invigorated me as I took it all in. A slow wander down the beach with some photos of the water crashing onto the rocks. I made my way back to the path and heard the twits of cardinals. I stopped to watch about 5 of them fly in and out of the bushes with brief stops on branches, the sound of a woodpecker in the distance. It seems whenever I need to see a cardinal they appear. 

Headed back toward the entrance and my car I heard a squawking sound and looked up in the trees. There was a dark shape and at first I thought maybe a hawk, as I raised my camera and zoomed in I was surprised to see a juvenile bald eagle. Looking farther up and out I saw an adult bald eagle. My excitement was huge, my first bald eagles! I just kept shooting hoping for one or two good shots as I played with settings and figuring out this lens. I went across the roadway to the marsh area to watch the geese when I heard quite the racket, I turned to see that there were now two adult eagles on the same perch. Back I go to try to get some good shots of these magestic birds. I just kept shooting, the sky was gloomy and dull but I was hoping for at least one decent photo of them. It was quite a moment and I look forward to more, I just have to keep looking up :)

I came home feeling energizing yet settled, it was what I needed. I need to listen to my body more and take off with my camera more often.  

Saturday Stillness

 It's Saturday, and I am still sitting on my couch. It is not quite noon but I have wasted almost half a day. I was going to grab my camera and go, but it hasn't happened. I got sidetracked by a pity party for myself, I know I need to go and I will feel better for it. How does one feel the get-up and go to get up and go? The camera is sitting right in front of me as I type this, just need to pack the bag and get in the car. 

Oh do I need to get out of this funk!!  I need some sunshine to help take away this gloom. I did get a photo of this little guy running along the top of the fence that made me smile.

Off to make myself do something that I know will make me feel better. One foot in front of the other. . . . . 

It's January, What Can I Say?

I saw this posted on FB and really loved the meaning behind it. I am there, I just want to stay curled up with a blanket, a mug of tea, and a book. I could literally do that all day, in the quiet. On the other hand, I am feeling wound so tight, the urge to explore and go somewhere is strong, and I want to escape. This is the story of me, always polar opposites within me. 

Our weather is unseasonable for this time of year, with no snow, at all. It has been a warm winter thus far and really grey, we need some sun, more than what we have been having. A bright day makes such a difference in one's mood. I do need to go wander though, to get lost in the forest, I feel it.

On another note, I did a thing. A thing I probably shouldn't have done as I am supposed to be focused on getting my finances in order and saving. I purchased a used  170-500mm lens, and now I need to take this beast and go find some birds. Practice, practice, practice, I really need to do that, I should grab my camera and go. I haven't really taken it out much and that is not good, I need to get out so I can get better. Again with the motivation and making myself get out of the house. A plan has to be in place, maybe I will go after work today, hook up Harlow and we will go on a little adventure. Plan for the weekend and go for a drive. 

That's it for today, not really much to report or say. I am at the height of being boring right now. Maybe I am 'wintering'. 

Musings

 There has been nothing earth-shattering in the four days since my last post. Life is moving along slowly and quietly, and I'm ok with that. I sometimes wish for some excitement, something big but usually, when that happens to me it is not good news so I will stick with slow and quiet. ♥ 

I went out for dinner last night with my brother and his family to celebrate my nieces turning 21. . . let me let that sink in for a few minutes, 21! I am still struggling with the fact I have a 25-year-old, my parents are in their 80s, and time needs to slow down. Where is it going? I digress, back to dinner. It was a fun and great evening, so glad I went. Laughs, chatter, and good food, a nice evening, and I actually left my house on a Friday night, lol. 

The nest, my sanctuary, my favourite room in the house. It was sad and neglected after a frenzy of crafting over the month of December. I came in and it didn't feel peaceful but chaotic as I had stuff everywhere. Time to organize and put stuff away, Cricut and craft supplies needed their own space. Thankfully I had a spare bookcase that was the perfect fit so all is put away nicely. My computer area is clutter free again and I sigh of contentment rather than distress when I come in this room, it is back to being my 'nest'. I will paint the bookcase white to match the other furniture, hopefully, this month. You can just see the corner beside the tall white bookcase. Next on the agenda for this room is a new printer stand with a cupboard so I can hide the paper and hopefully a new printer.  All in time, need to stick with my goals... which I will get to next. 

My word for 2023 is supposed to be FOCUS, I say supposed to be because I'm not really sure. One of my goals was to focus on being more financially responsible and only buy things I need this month. . . darn Old Navy and a sale! I mean I got a sweater, pair of jeans, and camis for $51 but still, even though the jeans were only $13.99 I did NOT need them *sigh*. Tonight we ordered Chinese food but it was a bit of a celebration for my son's week at his new job. 

On the scrappy front, I got behind 3 days in the MOC 11 at The Lilypad but since I got caught up on laundry and house chores yesterday I spent this afternoon getting caught up. The muse was speaking to me today, I love the pages I created and the meaning behind them. So far I seem to be headed in an artsy direction with neutrals and some pops of colour. We shall see as the prompts go on if I stick with direction of style.

3 Days in a Row!

 Wow, I'm back and posting for the third straight day. I don't even really have much to post about but I felt like opening up the old blog and putting some words down.

The boy (25) started his new job today with great enthusiasm. He is looking forward to this new adventure and learning, the potential to have a great career, and move upward and onward. I really hope it is all he wants it to be. It's scary out there for our young people, job security, inflation, and the housing and rental market-all crazy. 

I grabbed my camera and went out to shoot a few photos on this gray and rainy day. All thanks to the prompt for today's MOC at The Lilypad. I just had my Sigma 105mm lens but I think I got some cool shots as time was limited due to another appointment. Decided to edit them to black and white to match the feeling of the weather.