Old Habits

 Well, here I am, gone for a month again. At least I can say I have thought about posting, just never got around to it. I can say life has been busy, I've had no time but all of those would be only partially true. I just haven't felt like spending a lot of time on my computer, which is a good thing. I also don't really have much to say. 

I live a quiet life, just me, my son, and of course the chocolate wonder. I go to work and I come home. I'm not a big social person, but I do enjoy going places and doing things but I am not good at meeting people. As a result, I am solo most of the time. I have friends but they are busy with their families or doing things with a group that they have had for a long time. Sometimes I get lonely and at others, I am quite content to do my own thing. Socializing, friendships, and navigating all that are hard. 

I have still not had chips; Fritos, Pringles, or Doritos since New Years Eve--yay me!! Pop consumption is only when I go out for dinner, which isn't often and has been replaced with sparkling water. As a result, I am down a couple of sizes and feel so much better in my clothes. The numbers don't seem a lot but I am noticing it physically. I am purchasing clothing that fits as opposed to baggy to hide everything. Now I just need to stop shopping!!  Going through my closet again to purge the things that I have not worn and no longer fit. Interestingly a pair of pants that were too small and somehow didn't make it into the giveaway pile now fit again. It's like I have a new pair.

I haven't gotten out with my camera much. Work is so busy that when I get home I just want to play with the dog and then relax for the evening. I did manage a day of being out and about with a fellow photographer and thoroughly enjoyed the day and am pretty pleased with my photos. Earlier this week our photo club took a little field trip and I got a few photos there as well.  The sky wasn't very helpful with regard to getting good lighting. 

Here are a few I took the end of May. 

I want to work on a watermark that I like but kind of want to play in AI with it. Granted I need to do more that just open it and get confused, lol.  Goal is still to learn this summer. 

Lots of Happenings!

It's only been two weeks since my last post but what a time it has been! We've said goodbye to another school year, I watched my nieces graduate from elementary school and attended the graduation of another group of high school students that I have followed their entire four years.

The chocolate wonder wiped me out on a wet, slippery boat ramp a week and a half ago. She found a bigger stick and came running at me from behind....BOOM in the water I went, goodbye iPhone 6 that was only a year old, hello scraped knee/elbow and a pretty badly sprained ankle.  I had to hobble over to the ferry dock and borrow a cell phone from the ferry captain to call home. Rather than stay home with my foot up I went into the city to reactivate my crappy iPhone 5, buy Harlow a new crate liner and a new bed.

Sunday was interesting as I had the trolley wine tour previously booked with my mom. It was a very hot and sticky day which didn't help the fresh ankle sprain but I managed to hobble around and enjoy our tour. Two wineries, a distillery, tastings at each, lunch and appetizers made for a fun full day. Purchased a bottle of wine and coffee flavoured whiskey that is to die for...I am not a whiskey drinker but boy is it wonderful.

I did it, I booked my bucket list trip! A seven day self drive tour of Ireland has been booked complete with deposit and some Euros already purchased :) Will apply for my passport and start checking out flights in the fall.  My goal is to purchase some Euros every month so I have a nice little chunk saved up. Really looking forward to throwing my camera in the car and just wandering out on my own. Seems so far away but I know it will be here before I know it. Another bonus is the breeder is going to take Harlow for me free of charge while I am gone.

Photo by Will Pantaleo | Unsplash

Summer vacation is delayed by three weeks for me this year as I applied for a summer learning camp through my school board.  Quite a jump as I went from working with teenagers all day to kindergarten to grade two's. Day 2 and I am enjoying the change although see me definitely sticking with my teens.

Growing

My son is almost finished his first year of college and first year away from home.  We have both adjusted very well, maybe too well for him :). I am so proud of the young man he has become and the experiences that he has had being away from home. Moving from a small town to a city is one thing but to do it at 17 (late in year baby) and three hours away is a big step. He is loving his freedom, school, all the things to do up there, new friends and even got a position as an RA for the second semester. I just signed as guarantor for a room in an apartment for him for second year. He and three buddies are moving into a four bedroom apartment at a new student complex that comes fully furnished and includes utilities.  Even talking about finding a job and not coming home at all for the summer next, just staying in his apartment. *sniff* *sniff* also proud momma moment that he is that independent and has plans for his future.  I hope he continues to follow his dreams. <3

We are now officially on spring break!!  Woohoo!! Jealous of all the people who went away this week but I decided to get Harlow in February and then bought a new TV last week. I hope the weather stays nice here and I can enjoy outside time with Harlow, work on recall and walking on a loose leash.

Feeling back on track as well, at peace and content for the most part.  Have had a few days of feeling stressed and grumpy but got back on track and still trudging forward. Difference is I'm not giving up and also not putting pressure or feeling that I failed if I have a moment.  Life is good!!

Can't go without sharing a picture of my LoLo girl.

looking innocent

vet visit--13 weeks 6 days and 21 lbs

On a New Journey. . . .I Hope

I have decided that I need to unload a lot of the negativity and junk in my life. That negativity and junk comes from within, oh I have the outside junk but I really need to start from within and work my way out. 

How did I make this decision?  Something as simple as finally getting to the storage cupboard in my basement.  As I went through boxes that were packed from the house and then just stored I realized that I hang on to a lot of things inside too.  So as I went through boxes sorting what was being kept, thrown out and donated I took time to look at old pictures and little pieces of school work from my son I felt lighter.  While I found the task daunting and started out being angry at myself for keeping all this stuff I started feeling lighter as I saw progress and made decisions I just wasn't ready to when we moved.  It took 3 days to get everything organized, sorted, cleaned and even a pantry made but I saw progress not only physical in terms of my basement but from within.  I felt accomplishment, peace and a feeling that I needed to start on the road of positivity. 

My goal is to live life in a more positive light, stop being so moody and find the good that is out there.  I know it's there but I have lived in the clouds for too long, time to see the sun :)  I know it won't be easy but I really need to make this change and am going to give it my best shot.  Only I can make myself happy. 

Tired of it All

I'm tired of the cold weather, ice, frizzies, static cling, children and dogs.................can you tell what kind of a week it's been?  Seriously, the only thing I like right now is my cat.  Deep breath, breathe in and breathe out, count to 10, feel your body relax............screw it, just let me put my head under the blanket and I'll wake up in the morning feeling much better. If only!

Feeling stressed and unable to let go of it or should I say get past it. Going to try and do some things this weekend to relieve that stress, maybe a deep clean of the house (ya right) will help or organizing the storage room in the basement (snort), what about planning my meals for next week and doing advance prep and freeze (will get as far as looking at what I want to make).  OK so I have my list of things to do, does that count? 

Got the carpet in the basement this past weekend and what a difference it makes! Now all I have to do is get my wall built to separate laundry area from living area and then see if I can find a paint colour I like in the mismixed section.  So have grand plans, let's see what I actually accomplish :)

Oh Boy!

Ever have one of those days where you wish you could crawl back in bed and put the covers over your head?  Or that you could pack a suitcase and run away to an island and be alone?  How about reinventing yourself, starting a new life in every aspect?  Yep, I have had one of those days!  Seems like it has been one of those weeks and it is only Wednesday, today was the worse though.

Having a hard time with this staying positive thing, am so on edge.  Angry, verge of crying the whole ball of wax.  I need to fight it and look inward, be positive and grateful, not look at the negatives but the positives.  My grateful items are; I have a comfortable home to live in, a job that I enjoy and I have a fantastic kid. OK, so now for the positives (self); I have been very good at taking Dash the Wonder Dog out for walks, until this week I have been good at not being negative (some improvement there) and I have thought ahead and had dinner prepared (love my crockpot).  Whew, not as hard as I thought :)

Dash the Wonder Dog is doing really well.  He now rings the bell when he wants outside, we just had to make the cord the bell is one shorter and away he went.  Granted he does ring it to go outside and then just sniff around or eat ice..............he liked getting a treat to ring the bell so figured it out.  He is also only in his crate when we are not home and will go in there when we say 'bed' as he knows he will get a 'cookie' and be told how awesome he is.  So me who wasn't going to let the dog on the furniture is presently curled up on an afghan next to me on the couch.  He is also sleeping at the end of my bed, lol.  

Trying to take pictures of general everyday things and even include a picture of me........not into this selfie thing, hard to get used to.  So here are a few snapshots from last week.

Almost the End of the Year

Today is the 30th of December, tomorrow is the end of 2013 and I am in a bit of a reflective mood.  As I look back on the past 12 months I wonder, 'did I move forward?', 'have I made any changes?', 'am I in a better place?' and to be honest I must answer, 'yes' and 'no'.  I think I have made some movement but as is me I have also taken steps back.

There is always improvement and I am definitely a work in progress, but progress seems to be where I am stuck.  I want to make better choices and improve on myself but I lack the knowledge in how to do it. Stuck in a rut and while not happy with doing nothing it is safer and protected.  Yes my life is passing me by and I know I will look back with regret on what I didn't do, accomplish or try.

I have never tried the 'one little word' but this year I am going to give it a whirl.  My goal is choose a word and do my utmost best to make that word a part of my life.  Maybe if I write it all down here then I will feel that sense of accomplishment (and follow through) that I so desperately want to feel.  So my word of the year is 'self'.  This word can be encompassed in so many aspects of daily life; self-worth, self-esteem, self-regulation, self-talk (positive of course), self-reliance, inner-self, self-improvement and more that just escape me at the moment. There we have it, my word and my goal of creating a journal based on 'self' and let's see where this journey takes me.........

While I am talking about end of the year, here are the last 4 art journal/mixed media pages I have created.  These pages use digital products from the following designers; Captivated Visions, ViVa Artistry, Tangie Baxter, Jopke Designs, Heather T and Bren Boone. Some products used in the fourth page (cat) are retired while the other three use current product.

Looking forward to creating more pages in 2014 and trying new techniques.